Monday, October 18, 2010

You Can't Tell Me What To Wear

Went out to breakfast yesterday morning with my friend Tracey.  Tracey and I have been friends since grade 10 and are still close.  We live in different cities now, but we try to get together at least once a month, if even just for a breakfast date.

Tracey has one of the best closets I have ever seen!  We are pretty much the same size and I have always loved to borrow clothes from her.

She says to me " I'm getting rid of a bunch of my clothes, do you want them?"

I reply " Ya!!! Why are you getting rid of your clothes?"

Tracey says " Chris wants me to get rid of my clothes, says that they are too revealing. He went through my closet yesterday and started to pull things out and throwing them in the garbage". She says this laughing.

To this I had no response and she seemed to think it was cute and funny.

Chris is a guy that Tracey has been dating for about a month.  Apparently the clothes he was attracted to her in, are now too revealing, anything with a v neck has to go.  Now Tracey has big boobs, and it doesn't matter what she wears, you are going to notice them.  She could wear a frigging parka and you would still see them!

At this point I am disgusted, with both of them. Tracey had always been a very strong, independent woman, in fact I would say she was the dominant one in her last few relationships.  So why is she allowing some guy to dictate what she wears, going so far as to throw her clothes away.  Is he being abusive or protective, is she being stupid or is she just in love (really the same thing!).

I let her know that I don't agree with the way he approached her wardrobe, and she immediately is on the defensive for him.  I am not getting anywhere, conversation dropped.  We small talk about other things, finish breakfast and then we go our own ways.  I think she might actually be mad -- at me!

I have been thinking about this since yesterday.  Am I overreacting by being so disgusted with them?   Are these the things you should change to make someone else happy?  What happened to my friend?  All I know is that you can tell me a lot of things, but you can't tell me what to wear!!!


Jonnie Boi said...

I think your friend is letting love get in the way of her independence. You make very valid points. At the same time, she is your friend. You have to be there to support her, even when she's doing something stupid. Take her clothes and keep them in a box for her. Y'never know when you might have to give them back.

Single Girl said...

Thanks Jonnie, that is some good advice. I will definitely hold on to her clothes for her, and maybe wear a few things while I wait, lol. It's really hard as an outsider to see where she is coming from, and I'm sure she is too in love to see where I am coming from. I am going to wait silently and keep our friendship strong, after all she may need me in the future.

Chels said...

I have a friend who is also normally the dominant figure in her realtionships. She is very independant, and really a stand up person. However, she suprised me once by telling me that she hates it. She wants a man to be the "pants" in the relationship. She wants for someone to tell her when and where. Now this shocked me. I mean, hello? Did womens lib never happen? BUT, if it is what would make her happy, then I gotta stand by her. I would like to think that if she ever got into that situation that she would put her foot down if it got out of hand, and hopefully your friend would too. Maybe just letting her explore this avenue will let her know more about where she stands as a person, and how she really wants relationships to go for her in the future. Being there for her will help show her what a good friend you are, and more than likely let you know things about your relationship boundries that you might not have figured out up until this point. Hope this helps!

Kirk Reid said...

You bring up a very good point here. Sometimes there are unhealthy relationships that are glaringly obvious to everyone except the person in the relationship. I co-host a podcast, and would like to invite you to be a guest on the podcast on this topic. Would you be willing to do that? If so, you can reach us at

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